i'm crazy

and i hate having doubts. and i really can't blame them all on past relationships. but now everything is wonderful. except i'm leaving. it's like the elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about. all he wants is for me to be happy. and what would make me happy is him.

sergio is planning on visiting me. perhaps he will bring rony? plus i will be back some weekend in september to go clubbing with nick. and then in october for my sister's bat mitzvah. and november for thanksgiving. so in reality, i will be back a decent amount.

the other day i thought: you know living in c-ville is cheaper. and he can do what he does down there. and then i stopped myself because there was no point thinking that way. i leave in exactly two weeks.